Psychology: What people do differently when they have enough time for themselves

Working, possibly supporting a family, maintaining friendships, keeping your own household running reasonably well, perhaps doing some exercise to avoid suffering your first herniated disc at 32, and, of course, staying up-to-date so you don't get left behind. When did life actually become a chore? With all the to-dos most people have on their daily lists, many find it difficult to find time to do something for themselves.

The number of important things on the agenda may certainly vary from lifestyle to lifestyle, and most people have more and less stressful phases, but the bottom line is that we don't have to look far to meet a person who is struggling to manage their time.

On the other hand, there are some people who have solved this problem for themselves. They somehow manage to take enough time for themselves. At least for a while – after all, nothing in life is permanent. But even if it's only temporary, and even these special people have to constantly remain mindful and adjust to maintain their time balance, what do they do differently than those of us who can never do anything for ourselves?

While there's no simple answer to this question, as there simply isn't a one-size-fits-all solution, the following habits might help some people find enough time for themselves. And it might be worthwhile for some other people to adopt some of these habits.

5 habits of people who have enough time for themselves 1. You declare your day complete at a certain time

No matter how hard we work and how much we accomplish, we'll never finish all our to-dos. There's always something left open. And new tasks keep coming up. Of course, we could try to accomplish as much as possible every day, until we can't do any more, but that way we'll still hardly be able to clear the mountain of open or future to-dos – after all, it's infinitely large and constantly growing.

Given this, people who have enough time for themselves usually set a limit beyond which they stop completing their must-dos. A la "I've given it my all by 8 p.m., and that should be enough." After that, they do what they want and what feels good to them, regardless of whether they've been able to tick off all the outstanding items on their daily schedule or not. After all, life rarely sticks to plans; on most days, something unforeseen comes up. But in the rarest of cases, this is something that would justify drastically shifting the personal daily completion limit.

2. You use your mobile phone purposefully or not at all

Yes, yes, the good old smartphone. In fact, many people's favorite device, with all its colorful apps and numbers, is a time-waster in their everyday lives for quite a few people, without them really being aware of it. People who have enough time for themselves typically use their smartphones very purposefully - to write a message, look something up on the internet, order new running shoes, take a French lesson, or even, quite exotically, to make a phone call. If they have nothing concrete to do, however, they ignore their smartphone, so much so that they sometimes don't even know where it is. Many of these people with enough time for themselves often use apps like Instagram, TikTok, and the like remarkably little.

3. They ritualize their hobbies

First of all, people who manage their time well typically have hobbies. Whether it's reading, dancing, wine tasting, gardening, yoga, or playing the trombone, they actually do other things besides work, housework, caring for others, and watching television. They do so consciously and happily. For most of them, these hobbies now have a fixed place in their daily or weekly schedule, for example, dancing at 6 p.m. on Tuesdays, reading for half an hour every night before bed, or practicing the trombone every day at 5:30 a.m. to annoy the neighbors.

4. Do one thing at a time if possible

Admittedly, avoiding multitasking completely and consistently in everyday life is unrealistic for most people. Unfortunately, most to-dos require significantly more time and energy if we get distracted and jump to other tasks. We also feel more stressed. In fact, many people who have enough time for themselves are good at minimizing multitasking in their daily routine. They tackle one thing at a time as much as possible, or concentrate on just one thing at a time.

5. You leave things lying around or don’t do them 100%

Many people find it difficult to leave to-dos open or not complete them completely, especially if they had intended to complete them. However, people who find enough time for themselves in their lives can do this, or have learned to.

They've also internalized the Pareto principle, which states that, on average, 80 percent of the result is achieved with 20 percent of the total effort – and where 80 percent is sufficient (in very, very many cases), they simply leave it at that. 100 percent is rarely achievable anyway, even if we could give it. And very few of our to-dos have to be completed by the time we set out to do them. In any case, the sun will rise again tomorrow, undeterred, even if the dirty dishes sit in the sink for a few hours or the paper waste is still outside the front door instead of in the recycling bin.

Sometimes it is not habits, but expectations

Of course, the time dilemma can't be solved in every situation with a few habits like smart smartphone use or leaving to-dos open. Many people simply have too much on their plate, and despite leaving to-dos open and using smartphones so little that they only need to charge them once a week, they barely find a few minutes for themselves.

Sometimes, however, it's our own demands on ourselves that steal our time and our lives. We want to be the perfect mother, the perfect friend, the perfect employee, the perfect son, and in our striving, we forget to reserve a little time and energy for ourselves. Hardly anyone will be angry with us if we do. And if they do, that someone may never have deserved our efforts.

sus Guido

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