Shift to the right in the relationship: Do we still have a chance as a couple?
What do you do if your loved one suddenly thinks that there are "too many foreigners" that we need to "get rid of"?
That Alice Weidel would be by far the best chancellor for Germany? Or that Putin and Trump are "really strong leaders" that the world needs a lot more of? With the growing success of the extreme right, the potential for conflict also grows, because the unsayable becomes sayable again - and can even destroy romantic relationships that were thought to be safe.
If your partner suddenly takes a stance that goes against your own values, it is initially a shock. You think you no longer know the other person and see the unspoken agreement to see the world with similar eyes, if not the same. The question opens up like an abyss: Do we even have a future?
When everything is put to the testBut nothing is lost yet: tough political conflicts in love may be shocking and painful, but they also bring movement into the relationship. That doesn't have to be a bad thing, because differences can strengthen the bond because everything is now being put to the test.
Fundamental issues now need to be rebalanced and discussed : How closely are our political convictions linked to our core values? Can we live in a partnership in which our views differ greatly and with mutual respect? How good are we at managing conflict and having difficult conversations? And is it possible for us to reach a common understanding despite major differences of opinion? Strong political differences also invite a debate about how both parties have changed over time - and why.
How do we deal with relationship crises? When does a separation make sense? Why do women separate differently than men? We answer these and other questions in our PDF dossier on the topic of relationships in crisis.
Communication expert Gina Vild has formulated six questions in "Psychology Today" that can serve as a guide for political discussions within the partnership:
- What fundamental values are reflected in our different political views?
- How have our life experiences influenced these political views?
- Have our political attitudes changed over the years, and if so, why?
- Are there values and issues that we agree on?
- How can we respectfully address our differences when discussing current events?
- Are there news sources that we both trust?
Couples who can come to an agreement on these issues build bridges across the political divide that separates them. What always helps in such disputes is an attitude that seeks to understand rather than judge, as was recently expressed in the social media trend "We listen and we don't judge." If you then also have a deep emotional bond and important compatibilities - such as the desire to start a family, the same sense of humor, physical attraction or shared interests - you've almost made it. A strong, trusting relationship is always worth cementing. However, if there is no common ground and the fronts remain hardened, it's time to go.
sar Brigitte
brigitte
