'The Reinvention of Love' by Joaquín Linne: How to love and be loved in times of algorithms

In The Reinvention of Love (Siglo XXI Editores), sociologist Joaquín Linne takes on a major challenge: understanding how sexual and emotional relationships are changing in a world governed by screens, digital platforms, and new discourses of desire. With a lucid and uncompromising perspective, the author explores contemporary connections , from dating apps to the emotions that multiply—and sometimes blur—in the logic of algorithms.

The author's aim is to understand how sexual and emotional bonds are constructed, sustained, and transformed in a world increasingly mediated by digital platforms. The book condenses five years of research based on interviews, observation, and content analysis, but goes far beyond academic literature. Linne articulates cultural sociology, gender theory, psychoanalysis, specialized papers, and even the most everyday discourses: from what YouTubers and influencers say to the conversations circulating on social media, podcasts, and streaming platforms.

One of the greatest challenges in writing this work, according to the author, was “finding a tone and position that integrated the contributions of feminism and the gender perspective.”

One of the essay's merits is its self-reflexive awareness . Far from locating himself in an ivory tower, Linne embraces his place as a subject implicated in the processes he studies. In dialogue with sociologist Anthony Giddens' concept of "double reflexivity," the author acknowledges that his research developed while he himself—and those closest to him—were undergoing emotional experiences mediated by digital technologies . A situated perspective enriches the analysis with personal experiences and critical sensitivity.

“While researching love in the age of apps and intensive internet use, I myself—as well as my friends and family—went through digitally mediated emotional experiences. This generated new ideas, exchanges, and concerns .”

Joaquín Linne holds a PhD in Social Sciences from the University of Buenos Aires (UBA) and works as a researcher at the Conicet (National Institute of Technology) based at the Gino Germani Institute and as a lecturer in undergraduate and graduate seminars at the University of Buenos Aires (UBA), UNLa, Ucasal, and the University of Aiu. Far from a nostalgic perspective, he shows how the transformation of ties is accompanied by a greater diversity of relational formats.

“There isn't just one way to build relationships today, but rather a menu of options that combine in different ways depending on the individual and their life stages ,” she notes. Traditional relationships are no longer the only possible path: intense friendships, non-romantic cohabitation, open relationships, and bonds mediated by affection for animals or communities are on the rise.

“ Polyamory, open relationships, bonds without labels… these forms challenge not only monogamy, but also compulsory heterosexuality and the classic affective models of the 20th century,” the sociologist argues. New ways of relating don't eliminate old ideals, but they do strain them . “We can desire to experience open or unconventional relationships and, at the same time, long for a stable, monogamous partnership and the possibility of starting a family,” he adds.

One of the book's most evocative concepts is "digital thirdness": the dimension in which emotional bonds extend—or persist—through the traces left on social media. Selfies, stories, memes: digital language becomes part of the bond , even after a breakup. Emotionality lingers in the consumption of these images, generating a kind of phantom presence that transforms the way we love, but also the way we let go.

“ We often become hooked not only on the person, but also on their digital language —their selfies, their memes, their stories. And after a breakup, that bond can be maintained through the consumption of those images,” he warns. This phantom presence produces an emotional continuity that even transforms the way we end a relationship.

The diagnosis is clear: the emotional marketplace is more active than ever . In dialogue with authors such as Eva Illouz , the French-Israeli sociologist and writer who is a leading figure in the history of emotional life, Linne warns how platforms multiply expectations—early sexualization, constant availability, the illusion of abundance—and erode certainties.

“ Platforms accelerate the pace : they increase the expectation of early sexualization—hence sexting and sex on first dates—and also the demands placed on forming and sustaining a relationship, given the illusion of an abundance of options,” she points out. In this context, practices like ghosting (cutting off contact without warning) become commonplace , even though they generate deep discomfort. It's no coincidence, she asserts, that “many profiles, especially female ones, feature the demand for emotional responsibility: 'If you're going to ghost, move on.'”

The emergence of resources such as emojis, memes, and stickers further complicates the scene. The author doesn't condemn them, but warns that their impact is ambiguous . "On the one hand, it can simplify or limit certain nuances; on the other, it provides new resources for emotional expression." That's why he insists on not idealizing any era: "Connecting was always difficult."

The mandate for the couple persists, albeit with new variations. " The desire to form a couple and family coexists with alternative emotional formats : close friendships, non-romantic cohabitation, or family structures centered on non-human bonds."

The consolidation of models such as eco-families and other forms of loving life responds to specific social and economic factors. "In a context where incomes are lower, households are smaller, and traditional couple plans can involve high levels of commitment and sacrifice , autonomy, the desire to travel, experience life, and self-care are prioritized."

The book also offers a generational perspective . While in previous decades the horizon was clear—stable relationship, house, children before 30—today that mandate is under review. “The centennial generation (those under 30) moves more fluidly in building and breaking relationships, tends to have more flexible gender identities and orientations, and isn't comfortable with labels,” the author believes. This same generation avoids traditional dating apps and favors networks like Instagram, which many call “the under-30 Tinder.”

In this context, movements are emerging that challenge traditional frameworks of love with increasing intensity. One of the most striking is 4B, which emerged in South Korea , which proposes a complete break with heterosexual ties and the mandates of family and motherhood.

Young women who choose not to marry, not to have children, not to associate with men or engage in normative sexual practices, as a response to a structure they find oppressive. The existence and expansion of these initiatives demonstrate how much the rules of the emotional game are changing.

Is it more difficult to love today? Or is love simply different? “ We love differently . We experience loves entangled by contact technologies, traversed by transitioning imaginaries and by ways of life with greater freedom, but also greater uncertainty,” he says. In this shifting landscape, new configurations emerge, such as serial monogamy, where exclusivity continues to exist, but for shorter periods and without promises of eternity.

Through a sharp and empathetic approach, the work proposes a possible reading of this changing universe. A cartography that doesn't offer recipes, but rather tools for thinking about emotions in times of algorithms, a multiplicity of discourses, and desires that don't quite fit into any one form.

The Reinvention of Love, by Joaquín Linne (Siglo XXI).