'Toliamor': a new love trend that is becoming increasingly popular in relationships
The dynamics of relationships have changed and now there are different ways of having romantic relationships and referring to them. One of these is ' toliamor ', a trend that is growing and becoming more common.
The term was coined by renowned relationship columnist Dan Savage and is a combination of the words 'tolerate' and 'polyamory'. In this way, it refers to a couple dynamic in which one or both members of the relationship tolerate the romantic or sexual contact that the other has with different people.
However, unlike polyamory, which is a practice that consists of having multiple romantic and sexual relationships with the consent of all people involved, in toliamor the couple may not have explicitly agreed to or discussed it.
" This is someone who is willing to turn a blind eye to a lap dance or a brief fling after years of marriage. They can focus on all the ways their spouse demonstrates their commitment and love. And all those other ways make up for or make tolerable the cheating that might be going on. These people are not fools or deluded," the expert explained on his podcast.
The person is willing to turn a blind eye to their partner's infidelity. Photo: iStock
He added: "They are not to be pitied: they know what they signed up for and they long ago made peace with what they got. They are willing to bear it, reconciled to it, willing to tolerate it. They are, in a word, toliamorous ."
Similarly, in conversation with HuffPost, relationship researcher Marie Thouin described toliamor as a relationship style in which one or two members of a monogamous couple pretend not to know about the sexual or romantic relationships their partner has had or is having with another person or people, all in order to preserve their bond.
"One or both partners tolerate or put up with their partner's non-monogamous behavior, but do not openly endorse it," she said.
Unlike polyamory, there is no explicit consent. Photo: Istock
Some relationship experts believe that love affair is nothing more than another form of infidelity. They also indicate that it is more common than it seems.
Famous examples of this type of dynamic include couples like former US President Bill Clinton and politician Hillary Clinton.
"The infidelity was exposed publicly, but they remained together as a 'socially monogamous couple,' rather than separating or becoming 'fully poly' and openly embracing other partners," Thouin explained to the aforementioned outlet.
This dynamic is more common than it seems. Photo: iStock
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