Need to talk? This London minister is willing to listen

If you need to talk, the minister of one London church is willing to listen, no strings attached.

She won't give advice, or preach her religion to you, but she's making time to listen, and everyone is invited.

On two separate days this month, Rev. Charmain Bailey has set up a sign inviting people to share what's on their mind outside the church she leads on the corner of Hale and Doulton streets. Her purpose is simple.

"Listening with no agenda, listening with no advice to give, but just to be a shoulder for anyone to lie on, and ears to hear what is on everyone's heart," Bailey said.

She's the minister of Trinity United Church Community Centre, and is committing her time to sitting near the front of the church, and offering her ears as part of a country-wide celebration for the hundredth anniversary of the United Church of Canada.

So far, she's spent two hours at a time lending an ear to a number of people from different backgrounds, and with different concerns, she said.

"One man was talking about how the city has failed him, and the government is not meeting his needs. He just wanted someone to talk to who he thinks cares, and I do care," Bailey said.

Other Londoners she's spoken to had specific concerns. Some just wanted to vent, she said.

And while the inspiration for the initiative came because listening is at the heart of her faith, it doesn't mean the experience is an attempt to fold people into it.

"One lady was really curious but really shy. She was afraid that I was going to be telling her about Jesus — that I was going to be an evangelist to her. I said, 'I just want to hear from you. You won't be hearing me talk about anything about God, religion. I will be listening to you,' And that really mattered to her," Bailey said.

The power of listening, and the resulting experience of being heard, is extremely important, in Bailey's eyes.

"Especially through the pandemic and after the pandemic, what we have been hearing as ministers is there are many people who are feeling disconnected from community. They are feeling lonely," she said.

"Imagine you've got someone who genuinely cares enough to want to hear what you have to say, how that could make someone feel less lonely, more cared for, more loved."

Lila Desjardine is the manager of supportive response programs at CMHA Thames Valley Addiction and Mental Health Services.

She all for what Bailey is doing, and said it may be coming at just the right time.

"I think more people are realizing that they want to talk about their feelings. When we're all being inundated with things from social media and the news, sometimes we have a lot of things that we need to get off our chest," Desjardine said.

The more support in the community that's available, the better.- Lila Desjardine

According to Desjardine, feelings that cause stress, anger, sadness, or other reactions can often feel much stronger when they're left to build in one's head.

"When we're able to articulate them and speak them out loud to someone, especially someone we trust, they can feel a lot smaller or manageable."

These benefits of having someone to talk to exist for everyone, and not just people struggling with their mental health, she added.

Moving forward, Bailey said she plans to continue listening sessions at the church, and elsewhere in the neighbourhood it calls home. She said she'll likely have the next session closer to the fall, when slightly cooler temperatures make sitting outside more tolerable.

Plans, including times and locations of future sessions are set to be posted on the church's social media channels.

For people who need someone to talk to on short notice, Desjardine added CMHA offers a 24-hour supportive listening phone line. The number is 519-601-8055. The toll-free number is 1 (844) 360-8055.