Trump diverts military valor to himself

Over the Memorial Day weekend, Trump spent some time with the people he called suckers and losers of both the future and the past. He delivered the commencement address at West Point, and rambled on for a good hour reprising the trophy wives and yachts story he told the Boy Scouts back in 2017 and boasting about his felonies, saying, "I went through more investigations than Alphonse Capone, and now I'm talking to you as president, can you believe this?" This was his lesson in perseverance to the graduates: no matter how many crimes you commit, you too can become president.

He said he didn't have time to do the traditional handshake of the graduating seniors because he's dealing with important national security issues in Russia and China. Luckily, he is able to do that from the golf course where he was seen later that afternoon.

The next day, he delivered a Memorial Day address at Arlington National Cemetery in which he shared with all the people who were there mourning their loved ones that he was glad that he hadn't won his second term until now because he "got the World Cup and the Olympics." I'm sure that was very comforting.

I know all Americans were very moved by his Memorial Day message to the country:

Trump is very interested in military pomp and circumstance these days. A couple of weeks ago, he declared May 8 a holiday, celebrating the Victory in WWII as they do in Europe and Russia, stating that it "was only accomplished because of us." No one advised him, I guess, that America also fought the Japanese in WWII and they didn't surrender until August. But, whatever. I guess we'll just change that. Nobody will notice. He also declared that Nov. 11 would be called Victory in WWI Day, but was later told that we already celebrate it as Veterans Day. Apparently veterans are very touchy about changing that and Trump seems to have dropped it.

We've never been a country that ritually staged big military parades yearly, although it's not unprecedented to do it in the wake of specific military victories. Certainly, we've never done it to show off military gear to impress our adversaries and allies with our massive manly equipment. There's no word on whether we'll be doing that every May 8 going forward, but we're going to be celebrating the 250th anniversary of the Army on June 14, which just happens to land on Trump's 79th birthday. How serendipitous?

The New York Times reports:

The current plan involves a tremendous scene in the center of Washington: 28 M1A1 Abrams tanks (at 70 tons each for the heaviest in service); 28 Stryker armored personnel carriers; more than 100 other vehicles; a World War II-era B-25 bomber; 6,700 soldiers; 50 helicopters; 34 horses; two mules; and a dog.

It's estimated to cost somewhere in the vicinity of $45 million, not counting the clean-up and repairs of the streets that the tanks are likely to destroy. I'm sure they can cut some more children's health care somewhere in the budget to pay for it.

There are no plans for the soldiers to sing "Happy Birthday, Mr. President," but the Golden Knights, a paratrooper team, will land in front of the reviewing stand and present him with a flag. And who knows, maybe they're planning a surprise.

The lore has it that Trump saw the Bastille Day celebration in France in 2017 and has been agitating for one ever since. According to the Times, in his first term, the Pentagon pushed back with then-Defense Secretary Jim Mattis quipping that he would “rather swallow acid," but this time, everyone figures they'd better give Trump what he wants. I think Trump's desire for the big military parade goes back much farther than that.

Trump's father sent Donald to military school because he was spoiled and out of control. But he still made sure that his son had plenty of privileges that other students did not have. He even got him a big promotion to one of the top ranks despite not having done anything to earn it. According to the great book "Lucky Loser" by Russ Buettner and Susanne Craig, he failed in that job but not by being belligerent and abusive, as you might imagine. He failed because he was negligent and didn't do the job, locking himself in his room and letting the lower ranks run roughshod over the younger kids. After one of his charges roughed up a lower-classman and Trump was nowhere to be found, he was finally removed from his post.

But Daddy intervened again. According to this excerpt of the book in Vanity Fair, he actually ended up leading the parade. Literally. The cadets marched every year in the Columbus Day parade and somehow the orders came down that Trump would be leading it, despite the fact that it was traditionally given to the top officer in the school, which he certainly was not:

Whatever the reason, on October 12, 1963, Donald led the specially assembled company of cadets down Fifth Avenue, past some of the premiere addresses in the city of his birth. Some of the cadets marching behind him wondered how it could be that Trump was in front and Witek, the highest-ranking cadet in the school and the senior class president, marched behind him. Trump arrived first at St. Patrick’s Cathedral, where he met Cardinal Francis Spellman. Donald would always claim marching in the front of the parade was evidence of his “elite” status at the academy.

Trump famously avoided the Vietnam War and the rumors are that, once again, his father paid for a doctor to say he had bone spurs. Years later, he told Howard Stern that avoiding STDs during the 90s was his personal Vietnam. He said he felt "like a great and very brave soldier." So it's not as if he never served.

As president, he doesn't much care for underachievers in the ranks and has no respect for military leadership. He's not interested in history, tradition or what the armed services really do. He once marched down 5th Avenue leading the cadets and to him, that's real military service. He just loves a parade, and now he's going to get one on his birthday. Maybe they'll surprise him with the Medal of Honor he was talked out of giving himself in the first term.