“Good night, bro” – why men call each other before going to bed

The man in crisis has established a distinct media genre. He is the subject of newspaper debates and talk shows. The Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung, for example, dedicated an entire series of articles to the "Future of Men." The Swiss television program "Sternstunde Philosophie" recently discussed the topic "Extreme Masculinity: A Danger for Young Men" with men's studies researchers.

Television series like "Softies" on RTL+ question male self-image. This spring, the Netflix series "Adolescence" sparked a debate in many countries about the propensity of male adolescents to violence. Connected to the world only through their cell phones, they risk becoming radicalized in their bedrooms.

There's talk of a "male loneliness epidemic": According to studies, young men feel lonelier than women of the same age, prompting numerous psychological media reports. Men lack emotional connection, states the "Welt" newspaper, "the ability to engage in stable, supportive relationships."

A year ago, a report in the Financial Times sparked a media debate. The newspaper analyzed global data on the political profile of Generation Z and found that young men are becoming increasingly right-wing. In this case, they were declared a problem solely because of their political stance. Perhaps the two are related.

From there, attempts to explain things quickly lead to misogynists like Andrew Tate, who exert a strong attraction on disoriented young men. These media portrayals shape the image of men. They also tend to generalize. Previously, the old white man was considered "toxic." Now he has company from his grandchildren.

But there's also some good news about men. This good news is coming from social media, which is blamed for the loneliness and danger of young men. A trend on TikTok and Instagram shows men from a relationship-capable, loving, and empathetic side.

This trend involves men calling each other before bed to wish each other a good night. Under the hashtag "Good Night, Bro," countless videos documenting this friendly gesture can be found on social media.

The appeal is to surprise a friend with a goodnight greeting. To tell them that they mean something to you and that you're thinking of them before sending them off to dreamland. Do you think men can't maintain deep friendships? Do you, and Generation Z in general, shy away from using the phone? Here, they prove the opposite.

In the short videos, the men are shown lying in bed or between pillows on the sofa, wearing pajamas or a T-shirt, while dialing the number of their friend, brother, or father-in-law. The reactions on the other end of the line range from "How sweet of you," "What do you want?" "Are you crazy?" to "Are you okay?" Sometimes someone asks, "Should I sing you a lullaby?" and sings. People are taken aback, but also touched. There's a lot of laughter.

Even famous people enjoy sending their friends off into the night with a thought. A video of Robert De Niro calling director Martin Scorsese went viral. "Sleep well, dear," says De Niro, sitting at home in front of the television. "Thank you, sweetheart," replies Scorsese at his desk. After hanging up, he asks his daughter, who's filming everything: "What? This is a trend? That he called me to say 'good night'?"

British singer Ed Sheeran shared a video wishing Scottish singer Lewis Capaldi goodnight. He says he loves him and cares about him, and Capaldi says the same in return. Sheeran is adept at expressing his emotions, even speaking publicly about his depression.

Like so many other trends, this one too will fade away. Nevertheless, the small gesture has its merits. When someone says "See you tomorrow" as they leave, they're expecting to see them the next day. An intimate moment is shared: Sleep is a journey; one sinks into oblivion. A person who goes to sleep becomes defenseless.

This was the experience of the 24-year-old man who called his friends at eleven o'clock at night, encouraged by his girlfriend in bed next to him. He told the New York Times: It's unusual for men to talk to each other in such a caring way. Therefore, the trend persists among men and becomes a test of courage for them. Many men confess that no one has wished them goodnight in a long time.

Social networks, which are almost completely useless these days, make it possible. Of course, "Goodnight, Bro" is also about self-promotion; the currency for being nice to friends is likes and more followers. You could also call your friend without filming the call and posting it online.

But then there wouldn't be so many imitators. In all the discussion about the harmful effects of social media, it's often forgotten that it also creates closeness, fosters connections, and fosters a sense of community that, in the best case scenario, lasts through the night and into the morning and beyond.